Getting married can be stressful and getting married in the time of Covid-19 has amped that stress level way up. We’ve put together some tips to help keep you focused and avoid spiraling off into the stress abyss.
Decide what is important to you
What do you want to remember about your wedding day? What do you want your guests to remember? Set some end goals and then work backwards. When questions come up and you feel pressured to make decisions, go back to those goals and use them to give yourself permission to let some things go. If you’ve decided dancing to boppin’ tunes with your friends and a killer dessert are at the top of your priority list, you can get the cheaper napkins or pass on buying fancy shoes/wedding favours/fresh flower centrepieces and not give it a second thought.
Covid Caveat:In a landscape of changing regulations for social interactions, decide what is a deal breaker. Do you require dancing? Drinking? Can you be happy with 20 guests or will you hold out for 200? Talking about it in advance can make it easier if the time comes and you have to decide to move forward or postpone. Take it a step further and make a tiny wedding back-up plan. You can’t control the Covid situation. You can be prepared to manage your wedding to fit regulations.
Keeping things smaller to start with
A smaller wedding can end up being easier to plan and less expensive as well, so it might be less stressful to start with. We have certainly seen couples with small Covid weddings say it was a blessing in disguise – they had a ready-made excuse for not inviting far flung cousins and work acquaintances and it kept them focused on what was really important to them. Keeping your wedding party tiny can also prevent drama and keep the day-of logistics simpler.
Manage family expectations
Pleasing family can be a huge stressor. As much as possible, try to be firm with your wishes and let family know from the very beginning of planning what they can expect. If parents are paying, negotiate the areas where they will have a say. Be upfront and honest about what is important to you – and what stresses you out.
Build in time to your wedding day schedule to relax
Space out appointment times, taking into consideration that hair or make-up can take longer than anticipated. Plan for lunch. Sitting down and eating something will give you time to breathe and enjoy the company of your wedding entourage. Not to mention that food will help keep you fueled for the big event to come.
Some couples like to remove themselves from the hubbub right after the ceremony and find a quiet place where they can spend a few moments in just each other’s company. See what options there are at your venue. Some venues have a suite for your use where you can sneak away and chill out for 15 mins in the middle of your reception with nobody trying to take your picture.
Take a break
Make sure planning doesn’t take over your life. You need time to take care of yourself and time to spend with your partner not talking about your wedding. Schedule date nights where wedding talk is off limits. Lunch with friends and tell them ahead of time that you don’t want to talk about the wedding. Schedule a relaxation massage in the week before your wedding.
Get help and delegate
You are only one person. Even if your future spouse is on-board to plan and organize by your side, you are still only two people. Face the fact that maybe you can’t do it all and get help. You can hire a planner (even a consultation for couple of hours with a professional might help you get a better handle on your to-do list and give you a solid plan for moving forward) or enlist family and friends to help. When delegating to someone, be specific in your requests and budget, and then try to let go of the need to control that task.
Stay organized and don’t leave things until the last minute
Whether it’s with lists or charts, on paper or an app, checking things off is a great way to make sure that nothing gets missed. Knowing you are organized can also help keep stress at bay. If the idea of a list makes you break out into hives, maybe you have an organizationally inclined friend who would be happy to act as your coordinator, or hire a pro.
Roll with whatever happens on the day of
Keep your focus on the positives. There is a good chance that something won’t go exactly right on your wedding day. You can’t control all the external factors (weather, vendors messing up, accidents), but you can control how you respond. Remember that the guests don’t know how things are supposed to go. If there was no wedding cake they would assume it was by design rather than you forgot to pick it up. If something goes amiss, look at your partner and remember the purpose of the day. Everything else is secondary, so you might as well try to laugh at any hiccups along the way.
More and more, we’re spending time thinking about the effects of our life choices on the environment. Why should your wedding be any different? As a (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime event, weddings can get crazy and extravagant and wasteful. Even if you aren’t willing to commit to everything on this list, we hope you will at least think about the impact of your wedding and try to take some steps to make it greener.
Keep it small: A trimmed down guest list means less of everything – less travelling, less waste, less energy used.
Travel: Travel has the biggest impact on your carbon footprint. It makes sense to host the wedding in the location where the fewest number of people have to travel long distances. Skip the destination wedding. Keep your ceremony and reception close together to limit travel or consider supplying group travel (party bus anyone?). Also think about your honeymoon. A local getaway, cycling adventure, train travel or sailing are all greener options.
Vendors that match your sensibilities: There are some who specialize in green weddings. At the very least ask questions of your vendors and let them know low-waste and sustainability are important to you. That’s how we change the status quo, making our preferences known and deciding with our dollars!
Wedding favours: Consider skipping them altogether or having something compostable like fancy cookies, flower seeds, tree seedlings, locally made maple syrup in a glass container, etc. Buy from a local business or DIY. Or in lieu of favours, let guests know that you are making a donation to an eco charity.
Décor: Rent or buy second-hand and resell when you are finished. Look for natural materials instead of plastic. Avoid balloons, especially balloon releases where you are sending pieces of plastic into the air with no knowledge of where they will come down or who/what may find them.
Rings: Buy ethically sourced gemstones, and if possible, consider a creation from a local jeweler. Some jewelers will reuse gold or stones you already have to make something new. A vintage family ring can be a lovely idea as well and can be resized if needed.
Flowers: Focus on blooms that are locally grown and in-season to cut down on shipping. Or go for a boho wildflower bouquet you gather yourself.
Clothing: For the happy couple, think about rentals, second-hand/consignment, or consider sustainable fabrics from local/national designers. Let wedding party members wear something they already own or at least let them select the outfit if you want them to purchase something new so they will be more likely to keep it and wear it for years to come. Princess Beatrice recently got married in a gown that was pre-owned by Queen Elizabeth II. Even the royals are embracing second-hand!
Dinner: Ask your caterer if they use local products and what they do with food waste. Consider local wines and beer. A plated meal produces less waste than a buffet.
Tablescape: Potted plants or succulents can make for stunning tables, and guests can take them home at the end of the night. Think about locally available flowers and greenery and other natural materials like woodcuts, pinecones, apples, etc.
So, get your thinking cap on and spend this winter imagining all the green and sustainable options you have for your wedding day.
Small, intimate weddings are a developing trend forced upon us by the Covid-19 pandemic as it has become impossible to stage large events where all your friends and family can mingle together and celebrate. However, many couples have found the silver lining to these small events, with some even saying it was a relief to be able to step away from planning a big wedding.
Planning a large event is stressful and while a smaller event also requires planning, it gives you the opportunity to be more flexible and perhaps enjoy the journey even more.
Loving all your guests
One of the best things about a small wedding is the freedom to invite only those you actually wish to attend. No need to debate inviting the layers of cousins or friends of your parents. A small wedding lets you focus on the ones you know and love. Knowing you will be surrounded by only your closest friends and family relieves the pressure of doing things conventionally or “properly” or living up to certain expectations. You can be yourselves as your guests already know your quirks, likes, sense of humour and personalities.
Saving money
A smaller guest list equals a smaller budget. Have a lovely wedding and still have cash in the bank for future travel or a down payment on a home or a car? What a great idea!
Focusing on a few luxury details
If you love flowers, make them a focus. If you are a foodie, make that your priority. Or live music. If you couldn’t care less about the wedding cake, opt for another dessert and your guests will never miss it. Forgo anything that isn’t meaningful to you. Photo booths, save the date cards, formal invitations, a DJ, or first dances can all be skipped. Bottom line: focus on the elements that are important to you as a couple and that will help create lasting memories.
Treating your guests well
A smaller guest list may give you the funds to step up the catering — spring for the extra course or the more expensive entrees. You can employ a private chef to prepare a custom menu of all your favourites. Shine a light on creative mixology with some signature cocktails. Leave a handwritten note at each place setting to let the guests know what they mean to you. Consider a car service to get everyone home so no one has to be the designated driver.
Flexibility of venue
With a smaller group you can get creative with the venue. Talk to your favourite restaurant, small gallery or museum, or consider locations that your own families may have access to like cottages or ski chalets. Think about your favourite outdoor spots. Transform your backyard. A small group has the mobility to shift to a plan B at the last moment if there is rain. You have the chance to select a ceremony location that means something to you.
Personal touch
Take the opportunity to DIY and give things a personal touch. Baking heart-shaped cookies or making strawberry jam as a takeaway for 150 guests seems overwhelming, but you could probably do it for 15 people. Your table(s) will only need a few centrepieces rather than dozens, so it’s a great way to give your table a personal stamp without a huge time commitment. Or design your own focal point for the ceremony (an archway or backdrop).
Package deals
A small wedding gives you the ability to take advantage of pop-up wedding opportunities. During the Covid-19 pandemic many wedding venues and planners have pivoted to provide luxury wedding packages for small groups at a reasonable price. If you had dreams of a swanky venue or top-notch planner that were just out of reach financially, a package deal like this may be just the thing.
Focus on the ceremony
A smaller guest list doesn’t necessarily mean a quick, get ‘er done ceremony. Every aspect of your day should get the royal treatment. You might want to include a sand ceremony, candle lighting, handfasting, or wine or rose ceremony. You can have some important guests participate by reading a poem or other special reading. Don’t forget to live stream for guests who can’t make it.
Small weddings are now a trend and we’d love to see them stick around. By embracing your own wee wedding, you’ll soon realize there’s a lot to love about going small. And if you must, throw a big bash in a year or two when large parties are once again allowed. It will be both less expensive and less stressful!
Wedding costs have a way of ballooning out of control. Few couples plan a wedding without a budget, but creating a budget isn’t simply knowing you have a set amount to spend then maxing it out. Here are some helpful suggestions for managing your budget and getting the most for your money.
Decide what is important to you Sure, you’d like to have it all…but if you can’t, you need to decide what areas are most important to you. Is it the wedding gown? An abundance of flowers? A top-notch photographer? On the other side of the equation, what are you willing to let go of?
Pass on some things altogether If a fancy wedding cake isn’t high on your list of priorities, just don’t do it. Serve cookies instead. You can also pass on bouquets, a photo booth for the reception, and a limo or vintage car rental. Keep in mind that a “wedding dress” doesn’t have to come from a bridal boutique.
Research Once you’ve decided how much you have to spend, start researching. Get a real sense for how much things cost. You may want to play high end, low end. What’s the cost of your dream venue? What is a low-cost alternative? With some real numbers in front of you, it is easier to make decisions. It also saves you from getting mid-way through your planning and realizing that you haven’t earmarked nearly enough for a particular category.
Trim your guest list You may think you want every single person you know at your wedding, but a more intimate wedding can be really lovely. Ask yourself, “Will this person be in my life in five years?” And “When was the last time I saw them or had a real conversation with them?”
It’s totally fine to keep the ceremony and dinner to a more manageable number and then open the doors for the reception.
Be flexible If you can be flexible with your date, you can save on the venue, catering and other vendors as well. Stay away from Saturdays. Considering a venue that is not right downtown can save you cash too. There are many great venues within a reasonable drive and wedding vendors located in the suburbs or rural areas may be willing to beat the price you’ll pay right in the city.
Host at home Booking a wedding venue can cost a lot. See if you have an appropriate space within your circle of friends and family. It could be the party room at your condo, or the home of a relative. If you are looking at a venue, consider an all-in-one location that can accommodate your ceremony and reception.
Use recycled décor There are a plethora of wedding groups on social media where couples are reselling their décor and other wedding items. If you’re flexible in your design and creative in your thinking, you can set yourself up with centrepieces, seating charts, signs, and other decorations for much less than you would spend buying new.
Flowers Recently we hosted a wedding where the bride forgot her bouquet. We ran outside and cut a bunch of flowers from our yard. With a little ribbon, she had the perfect, free bouquet – no one realized.
Research can also pay off when it comes to flowers. See what is in season and locally grown for the date of your wedding. Talk budget with your florist and let them know that you are open to their recommendations to get the most bloom for your buck.
Go with non-floral centrepieces/décor and incorporate candles/twigs/greenery instead. Keep the blossoms in the bouquets. Forgo boutonnieres all together.
We’ve seen some great faux bouquets too, which gives you the option to re-use someone else’s flowers or create your own bouquet out of paper or fabric flowers, vintage brooches, buttons, etc.
DIY With some advance planning and elbow grease, you can do a lot of things yourself from invitations to wedding favours and decorations. Just be cautious about tackling more than you can reasonably handle.
Less expensive alternatives Try contacting the local university for music students to play during your ceremony or dinner. Vendors just starting out will often offer a lower price as they attempt to build their reputation and portfolio. If the venue has a built-in sound system, you can pass on the DJ and prepare your own dance-a-thon playlist. Use your judgement though……if photos are at the top of your priority list, it makes sense to book a professional photographer with solid reviews whose work you can view beforehand.
Swap a sit-down dinner for a cocktail reception with finger food You’ll pay less and have the added bonus of getting more face time with your guests. Also shrink the bar menu down to a couple of options to save further.
Leave ‘wedding’ out of your requests When contacting a caterer or other service provider, try not to mention the word ‘wedding’ as often there is a markup for weddings. For example, when ordering a cake, say you need a cake for 100 people, not a wedding cake.
Build in a buffer Building a little extra into your budget for unexpected costs will save you stress if an additional expenditure comes up.
Plan and plan some more Last-minute decisions don’t allow for space or time to think. A longer lead time gives you a chance to find sales and work on discounts.
When you get married it can feel like there are a million things to do…and it can feel like a million people want to help. There will be certain people that will expect to be included in the preparations – bridesmaids/men, best men/women, and perhaps parents or siblings. There may be other special people that won’t be central figures, but you’d still like to give them a little job or carve out some time for them on the big day. What follows is a list of tasks and activities that you can delegate or offer to make everyone feel involved. Just remember to keep tabs on who is doing what!
In the months, weeks, days before:
Creating ceremony programs (great for techie youth or grownups).
Crafting table centrepieces.
Creating or packaging wedding favours.
Wedding dress shopping. A grandmother or godmother would be thrilled to be invited along.
Making “goodie bags” for children attending the reception (going to the dollar store and selecting crafts/toys/trinkets, creating a special colouring page, etc).
Creating a photo collage to display at the reception.
Creating a slideshow or video with photos/video clips of the couple through the years to play at the reception. Great for a tech savvy teen.
Addressing invitations (or if you know someone paper crafty , making invitations from scratch).
Choreographing a dance for the reception. A great way for either partner (or both) to spend time with some special people. Kids will love this.
Airport pick-ups for out-of-town guest arrivals.
Before and during the ceremony
Picking up flowers/bouquets from florist
Placing some decorations at the ceremony location and/or reception venue.
Help the bride get dressed/hair done/make-up. Grandma might love to be part of the action
Place reserved signs for seats at the ceremony location
Ushering – it may have fallen a little out of fashion, but showing people to a seat is often appreciated by guests who don’t know where to sit at the ceremony.
Handing out programs at the ceremony or bubbles for afterwards.
Carry the rings (caution that small children may be unpredictable in this regard)
Being part of the wedding procession (ring security, flower girl, maid/men of honour and best men/maids)
Delivering a reading or poem during the ceremony.
Singing or playing an instrument during the signing portion of the ceremony.
Making announcements before the ceremony (couple have asked that guests not take photos during the ceremony. Join us for a group picture after the ceremony. Remember to turn off your phone.)
Reception
MC at reception.
Making a speech/toast.
Unofficial reception photographers (great for kids who will be on their phones all evening anyway) You can even make them a badge or card on a lanyard to display.
Responsible person to take care of gifts and cards.
Delivering bride and groom a safe ride to where they are spending the night.
The holiday season is upon us and as the year is coming to an end, your wedding planning may be on hold until the new year. If you haven’t started planning your summer 2018 wedding, you’ve still got time.
We have put together a list of things to start working on as soon as the holiday festivities are over. We cover the most important reservations that you must secure before you lose some important vendors and dates due to unavailability:
Wedding Binder
Create or buy a wedding binder that will hold all the important details of your wedding in one place. Use it to stay organized, store your contracts and receipts, and add any articles or ideas that you may want to use later. It might seem a little bridezilla, but it’s really a great planning tool.
Budget
Create a budget for your wedding and stick to it. Determining your budget will enable you to decide on the type of venue you want, if you can afford a reception, the number of guests you can invite, and the level of luxury implemented in your wedding components.
Guest list
A guest list will help you determine your budget, your wedding party, and the size of the venue that you may need. Leave room to include the full names of your guests, contact information, and addresses. Include an RSVP section as this will be your master guest list which you can make copies of for your vendors. Purchase your invitation cards, or plan your online invites, as soon as your list is finalized.
Venue
Securing a venue is the first booking that you must focus on. Your venue(s) will host your ceremony and reception. Many venues get booked years in advance and if you still haven’t booked one yet, it is time to start making inquiries regarding availability and quotes. If you are planning to have the wedding at a private residence, then it would a good idea to inspect the house and the backyard and front yard. Familiarize yourself with the space and put yourself in your guests’ shoes. What would they need? What do you want them to see once they come in and what path do you wish for them to take to get to their seating area?
Photographer/Videographer
A wedding should always be documented. Decades from now, you, your children and your grandchildren will want to see you on your special day. Ensure that you book a photographer ahead of time, the good ones get booked fast. If you have a friend who is good with a camera, you could ask them to document the day for you.
Book your Officiant
Officiants are usually booked a year in advance for weekend dates. Booking early means you will have more choices.
Entertainment
The entertainment will depend on your musical taste and your guests. If you have always envisioned a live band at your wedding, it is a good idea to try and watch them performing at another event before booking them. Another option is a DJ who will offer a large selection of music. Consider if you need music over dinner or during the ceremony itself.
Caterers
If your venue does not offer catering options then you may want to meet with several different caterers. Competition is high in the catering industry, so you may be able to get a lower price for what you’re seeking in terms of quantity and quality, if you check several companies. Keep in mind the dietary restrictions and allergies of your guests.
Wedding Timeline
Create a timeline of all the events that will unfold during the wedding day. (ceremony start time, dinner, first dance, cutting the cake, etc…) Punctuality is important for vendors and your guests.
Purchases
It’s not too early to work on some of your other purchases as well. A wedding dress/suit may need alterations or tailoring. Your ideas for flowers can be discussed with a florist to ensure they are feasible. Wedding cakes can be tasted in advance and designs discussed.
Each wedding is unique and has all sorts of small details that make it special. This list contains only the essentials that you should consider well in advance. There are many more elements that can be added to customize your wedding as you move through the planning process.
As wedding season winds down for this year, next year’s brides (and grooms) are just getting going with their planning. They are deciding on colours, themes, venues, officiants, invitations, table centrepieces, favours, and more! And more importantly, they are deciding which wedding projects they want to tackle themselves. The do-it-yourself movement is huge in the world of weddings.
The internet is full of wedding décor inspiration – much of it handmade. Hit a few blogs or magazine sites and you’ll see stunning, Pinterest-worthy projects. Even the least crafty soul will want to run for the burlap ribbon and scissors.
If you are thinking about a do-it-yourself wedding, here are some things to consider.
Consider why
Why do you want to DIY? Is it because you’re on a budget and want to save some coin? You love to craft? You think you can’t get your signature look any other way? Whatever the motivation, make sure you achieve your desired end result. Preparing for your wedding should be enjoyable and satisfying, so if the headaches and stress of DIY are going to outweigh the positives, step away from the glue gun!
Time
Make sure to leave yourself enough time to accomplish these do-it-yourself tasks. Depending on the number of DIY projects and their complexity, the time investment could be significant. If you don’t have a lot of free hours in your regular schedule, DIY may not be for you. Brides who are crafting paper flowers or decorating their own wedding cake shaped cookie favours the night before their nuptials are, for the most part, grouchy brides. If you are a natural procrastinator, this can add an extra layer of stress to your wedding preparations. So, start early, like now, for next summer.
Don’t overestimate your abilities
If you’re not a crafty person, don’t expect to become one overnight. Some projects are tougher than others. Take a look at pinterestfail.com to see just how wrong things can go! That’s not to say that you shouldn’t try, but choose one or two wedding projects you think you can realistically accomplish.
Support team
It’s a great idea to have back-up. If your bridal party is full of competent crafty folks, by all means, throw some wedding bee nights and work together on your handmade invitations or wedding favours. It’s a great way to build anticipation for the big day and bond with your best girls/guys. Remember though, some bridesmaids are just better at “tying one on” than tying bows!
DIY projects can be a great way to involve people outside of the bridal party as well. When you can’t have all your friends and family in your wedding party, you might be able to find special projects or tasks that will make them feel included. Make sure it’s a job that’s suited to them!
Expense
Just because you’re making it yourself, doesn’t make it less expensive. If you don’t already have some of the tools and supplies, you can quickly rack up a big bill at your favourite craft shop. Consider your finances and the raw materials you may already have access to. Maybe you have a rural connection that can supply some rustic wood. Perhaps you have a stash of empty mason jars. You could save soup cans and spray paint them gold or plant succulents in cheap thrift store teacups. The best way to save money is to use what you’ve got or source some of the raw materials from your circle of friends.
Capitalize on the work of others
Your local Facebook wedding groups and Kijiji ads are full of the homemade props and décor of brides whose weddings have come and gone. Sometimes they are great deals. Keep an open mind when viewing these sorts of items. Even if they don’t match your colours or aesthetic exactly, think about how you could adapt or revamp them to suit your needs.
If you’ve considered all the facets of a DIY wedding, and still think it’s the right move for you, good luck with your crafting! Enjoy creating something special and personalized that’s just for your unique day.
It can be great fun to run with a theme. From attire to decorations to food and favours, some motifs lend themselves to all aspects of your wedding planning. And yes, finding the perfect cake topper to complement your theme may be cause for a small celebration. If you are someone who enjoys the planning, a theme can seem like a good idea.
The officiants at All Seasons Weddings have seen and done it all – including many theme weddings. Officiants have dressed up as wizards and Santa and a Star Trek officer just to name a few. They have also presided over ceremonies in some unique and sometimes challenging locations, including a baseball diamond, a roller coaster platform at Canada’s Wonderland, and at the end of a muddy ATV trail.
If you’re considering a theme wedding, whether it be Harry Potter, Day of the Dead, the Great Gatsby, or something else that catches your fancy, here are some things to think about.
Don’t be upset if your guests don’t play along
If you are having hundreds of guests, they won’t all want to play your game. Some of them will just politely decline to dress up or get involved themselves. Others may just be puzzled by the whole thing – especially if your theme is drawn from current pop culture. Maybe grandma hasn’t read Harry Potter.
Remember the photos last a long time
While not as permanent as a tattoo, wedding photos have a way of sticking around. If you think you might ever get tired of explaining your wedding theme to curious relatives, or your kids, or grandkids, every time someone throws back to your big date on social media, maybe a theme wedding isn’t for you.
It’s better if it means something
A wedding theme should speak about your personality or your love story in some way. Maybe you both really love Game of Thrones. Is that enough to remind you in 25 years why you were wearing fur and chewing on a turkey leg with your direwolf by your side during your wedding reception? It has to mean something. Baseball makes sense if you met playing on a beer league team and bonded over your favourite pro team. Maybe all your dates were to superhero movies and your guests will know that you have both dressed as superheroes at Halloween since you were little. Maybe you are both world travellers with a bucket list of destinations you plan to visit together. Pull an element from your real life and go with it.
Make sure you have an officiant who is on board
While some officiants will be excited to dress up or change the ceremony wording to support your theme, others may not be comfortable doing so. These are questions you want to ask before putting down your deposit.
Getting carried away with a theme is a sure path to unnecessary expenditures
Those “have to have” extras that match your theme might seem like a good idea at the time of purchase, but have a way of adding up. Do you really need those Cinderella carriage table number holders or the fairy wings for the flower girl? Pick a couple of theme elements that won’t break the bank.
Sometimes less is more
A theme can quickly become overwhelming. Your guests may appreciate small nods to your motif, such as a creative line or two in your ceremony or a particular style of cake or hair accessory, more than a full blown Tim Burton-esque fantasy world.
Your theme can be fun!
After perusing the pages of bridal magazines and blogs you might start to think that weddings with themes are the norm. Phrases like “Wizard of Oz-inspired nuptials,” “whimsical Cinderella scene,” and “opulent 1940s styled wedding” abound. Don’t stress. Many amazing weddings take place without a theme. Focus on friends, family, food and your day will be memorable and fabulous.
White beaches, soft breezes, gorgeous sunsets, there is no denying that tying the knot in a southern paradise has appeal. Before you get swayed by the idea of palm trees in your wedding pictures, however, think it through. Getting married in a foreign country can be complicated. It may be easier to have the legal paperwork taken care of in Canada before stepping on the plane to your sunny destination.
Elope at home first
Here are a few reasons why: To avoid having to get your documents translated into a language other than French/English.
Once documents are translated, some countries require you to have them legally certified by a professional, and legalized by the Embassy/consulate.
Documents may then have to be translated to French/English in order to register your marriage here in Canada.
There are more documents required in some countries than needed in Canada and some countries require a blood test!
Some resorts require minimum stays and a minimum number of rooms.
Some countries require couples to be in the country for a certain number of days prior to the wedding.
Friends/family that can’t make the trip to your sunny destination may come to a Canadian ceremony. Maybe Grandma is too frail to make the trip, but would still love to see you get married. Perhaps some friends don’t have the cash to join your vacation.
Much easier to correct a mistake on legal documentation if it occurred in Canada rather than dealing with authorities in another country, possibly in another language.
Easier to check legal credentials of Canadian officiants.
Greater possibility of the ceremony in language of choice (if French/English).
Ability to order a marriage certificate from your home province.
Two days of celebration, rather than one!
It’s a lot to think about. Do your homework to find the hidden costs of your destination of choice. In the end, it may make more sense to conduct a small elopement ceremony on Canadian soil so your destination wedding really will be a walk on the beach.
Sometimes couples have kids before they get married; with each other or from other relationships. When this is the case, the marriage ceremony takes on a whole new dynamic. It may be a blending of families. Aside from the obvious roles of flower girls, ring bearers, and junior bridesmaids or groomsmen, there are a ton of other great ways to include the kids.
Take part in the vows
You can mention your children by name in your wedding vows, or even have the officiant address a question to them. For example, “Do you promise to work together and share your love with this new family being created today?”
Token or gift
You can include gifts for the kids in the ceremony to give them something tangible to remember the day and provide a feeling of inclusion. It can be jewelry, a rose, or some other token.
The procession
The kids can walk mom down the aisle. Add bubble blowers, bell ringers, or sign carriers to the procession.
Signing
In Ontario, the Record of Solemnization is the portion of the marriage licence that you sign and keep after the wedding. (The officiant sends the other signed portion to the government for registration.) It is a keepsake and not a legal document, so it’s okay if the kids sign too.
Sand ceremony
At the Ottawa Wedding Chapel, many of our officiants love to use a sand ceremony as a visual representation of the blending of families. Each member of the family has a colour of sand in a container. They slowly pour them into a clear communal container making a colourful final product that can be kept and used to remind the kids of their important place in the family. Just as the grains of sand can never be separated into their individual containers again, so the family will be joined together.
This ceremony can also be done using candy if that will keep the kids’ attention!
Caution!
Keep in mind short attention spans when planning for kids to take part in your ceremony. Standing up at the front on display for the entire ceremony might be too much for some kids. And the pressure of all those eyes might bring on a bout of shyness. On the other hand, some kids will go to town once given the spotlight – they might carry on and be disruptive to the remainder of the ceremony. Be sensitive to the personalities of the children…. And of nap times, a tired child is often a grumpy child.
Please consult with children before assuming they will want to take part in the ceremony. You don’t want them to feel resentful of having to participate. The second marriage of a parent can be an emotional event, even if the child has a good relationship with the incoming step-parent – your child might prefer not to be at the centre of attention as they struggle with the feelings of the day.
By working together with your officiant and consulting with your partner and the kids, you will be able to find a ceremony that will fit your family perfectly.
Getting married can be stressful and getting married in the time of Covid-19 has amped that stress level way up. We’ve put together some tips to help keep you focused and avoid spiraling off into the stress abyss.
