Sometimes couples have kids before they get married; with each other or from other relationships. When this is the case, the marriage ceremony takes on a whole new dynamic. It may be a blending of families. Aside from the obvious roles of flower girls, ring bearers, and junior bridesmaids or groomsmen, there are a ton of other great ways to include the kids.
Take part in the vows
You can mention your children by name in your wedding vows, or even have the officiant address a question to them. For example, “Do you promise to work together and share your love with this new family being created today?”
Token or gift
You can include gifts for the kids in the ceremony to give them something tangible to remember the day and provide a feeling of inclusion. It can be jewelry, a rose, or some other token.
The procession
The kids can walk mom down the aisle. Add bubble blowers, bell ringers, or sign carriers to the procession.
Signing
In Ontario, the Record of Solemnization is the portion of the marriage licence that you sign and keep after the wedding. (The officiant sends the other signed portion to the government for registration.) It is a keepsake and not a legal document, so it’s okay if the kids sign too.
Sand ceremony
At the Ottawa Wedding Chapel, many of our officiants love to use a sand ceremony as a visual representation of the blending of families. Each member of the family has a colour of sand in a container. They slowly pour them into a clear communal container making a colourful final product that can be kept and used to remind the kids of their important place in the family. Just as the grains of sand can never be separated into their individual containers again, so the family will be joined together.
This ceremony can also be done using candy if that will keep the kids’ attention!
Caution!
Keep in mind short attention spans when planning for kids to take part in your ceremony. Standing up at the front on display for the entire ceremony might be too much for some kids. And the pressure of all those eyes might bring on a bout of shyness. On the other hand, some kids will go to town once given the spotlight – they might carry on and be disruptive to the remainder of the ceremony. Be sensitive to the personalities of the children…. And of nap times, a tired child is often a grumpy child.
Please consult with children before assuming they will want to take part in the ceremony. You don’t want them to feel resentful of having to participate. The second marriage of a parent can be an emotional event, even if the child has a good relationship with the incoming step-parent – your child might prefer not to be at the centre of attention as they struggle with the feelings of the day.
By working together with your officiant and consulting with your partner and the kids, you will be able to find a ceremony that will fit your family perfectly.
Outdoor weddings are often fun and are enhanced by the beauty of nature. Being outdoors presents a lot of advantages, but there are also many factors that may cause calamity.
Here is a list of things to consider:
1. Bad weather is your worst enemy
Bad weather will ruin your wedding, if you are not prepared for it. Make sure to have cozy blankets ready in case the temperature drops, shade areas to combat the heat. Umbrellas and cover areas will also come in handy, so unexpected showers don’t take you and your guests by surprise.
2. Care packages
Be prepared with all the essentials your guests may need for an outdoor wedding. You might include include blankets, sunscreen, band aids, emergency contact list, bug repellent, flashlights, fans, bottles of water, and flip flops for the sake of dancing!
3. BYOA
Some venues allow guests to bring their own wine to weddings for a flat fee paid by the host of the event. This is a great method to save money and allow your guests to enjoy the alcoholic beverages which they prefer the most. If you are having a wedding in your backyard or estate, then this option would offer a variety of selection. You would have to provide the glasses and maybe a self-serve bar area.
4. Tell your guests where to go
Regardless of the layout and theme which you have for your outdoor wedding, make sure that your guests are clear on where to go and what is expected of them. Provide clear signage to where everything is from the bar to the bathroom.
5. Wind-proofing
Do your best to windproof your décor as a gust of wind can make everything go flying, including food and beverages. You don’t want a big spot of red wine on your wedding dress!
6. Manage the heat creatively
A hand held fan may a blessing during a hot outdoor wedding ceremony. Be creative by putting your wedding program on a fan; your guests will memorize your wedding program by the end of the ceremony. Make sure to keep your guests hydrated — not just beer and wine! An ice cream cart with a selection of frozen treats would be a hit with guests, because who hates ice cream?
7. Save the Flowers!
Ask your florist to mist the flowers if you are expecting a very hot day.
8. Lighting
If your wedding plans will plunge into the darkness of the night, then string lights may be the best option for you. They are easy to set-up, and if you have trees around then you can create a magical forest feeling for your guests. Placing camping lanterns underneath table clothes will enhance that magical feel.
Planning a wedding can be stressful for couples and it may cause a lot of strain in the months leading to the big day. In our long experience helping plan weddings and managing officiants all over Canada, we noticed that things do not have to be stressful. Couples sometimes need to take a step back and say, “who is this wedding for?” Some couples get so lost in the planning process and the coordination between the two families, that they forget the whole purpose of the wedding is to make the great love that they share official!
While it’s great for your families and friends to feel involved and want to take part in the excitement leading up to the wedding, ultimately the day should be about you and your fiancee and you should plan a ceremony and reception that you will enjoy.
Even if you stress over extensive planning, things can still happen. Sometimes weddings go wrong due to unforeseen circumstances. Here are a couple of examples of brides who overcame impossible odds to make their wedding dreams come true.
The first story is about a bride who had the misfortune of her limo having a flat tire on her way to her wedding. Most brides would have started panicking, but this bride had a very simple solution. She got herself to the side of the road and stuck out her thumb, aiming to hitchhike to the ceremony (in her wedding dress). Angelique may have arrived half an hour late, but she got there in style on a motorcycle! She had waited 11 years to marry the man of her dreams, and was not going to wait one more day.
Another inspiring story is about Kevin and Carmen Shanahan who wanted to have a wintry wedding. They were thinking of a ceremony in front of a fireplace and a menu including hot cocoa. They were not expecting a blizzard on the biggest day of their lives. Carmen and Kevin refused to cancel their wedding and decided to go ahead. The upside of the uncooperative weather? Magnificent pictures, with the couple appearing to be in a winter wonderland.
The way we see it, couples should focus on planning a wedding they are going to love rather than trying to please everyone who thinks they should have a say. Even with perfect planning, you certainly can’t control every aspect of the day, but feeling comfortable with your plan and going into the day with a positive attitude will ensure that whatever obstacles come your way the wedding will be full of fabulous memories.
