Ceremony hacks for the shy and nervous

January 31, 2024

Are you very shy or are you anxious about the ceremony part of your wedding day? If the answer is yes, try to pin down exactly what has you tied up in knots. Is it being the centre of attention or is the thought of speaking in front of everyone? Maybe it’s the kiss? There are ways to structure your ceremony so that it’s easier on your anxiety. You might even enjoy yourself.

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Small ceremony

There is no reason to have a huge ceremony if you will hate every moment of it. Have a tiny and intimate one and invite everyone else to the reception for food and dancing. For a legal ceremony, you only need two witnesses. Or you could make it immediate family only. Stick with a guest count that makes you feel comfortable.

Keep it casual

Don’t have a big entrance with music and all eyes on the wedding couple. Mingle with the guests as they arrive and then at the appointed time just have the officiant start the ceremony. You can also wear more casual clothes if it will make you comfortable – sneakers are allowed!

You can set up your ceremony so your backs are to the guests and you are looking at your officiant. That might make it easier to focus on your partner and the words being said. You can also consider sitting instead of standing if that appeals to you.

Work with your officiant

If you don’t want to speak in front of everyone, your officiant can present your vows in question format, so all you have to say is “I will” or “I do.” If you would like to say more, they can use a “repeat after me” style so they feed you your vows a few words at a time.

Skip the kiss

Kissing is not a ceremony requirement. If you are opposed to too much PDA, you can hug it out instead, or even just hold hands and then raise them up in celebration after you are pronounced.

Get rid of other moments of focus or intensity

There is no need for a cake-cutting photo-op or a first dance if you are worried about having all eyes on you.  You don’t need to sit apart from your guests at a head table or sweetheart table for dinner either. It’s your day, you should feel empowered to set yourself up for success by eliminating stressors.