How to write your own wedding vows 

November 3, 2023

Writing your own wedding vows is an ideal way to express your love and devotion to your partner. However, it can seem daunting trying to capture your romantic journey in a short speech while also making promises for your future together. Vows are also often said in front of your entire family. So where to begin? 

Here are some tips that can help you write your own heartfelt vows and as stress-free as possible.  

Consult with your partner 

While many couples wish to keep their vows a surprise, it can be a good idea to ask your partner how you both want your vows to be structured, or even just the overall tone. Do you want more traditional vows? Maybe you want to tell a story with a bit of humour throughout. Knowing what you both want will allow your ceremony to flow perfectly. You can keep the content secret while making sure you’re both on the same page! 

Start writing your rough draft in advance

Do not wait until the last minute. Start writing your vows a minimum of a month before your actual wedding day. Stressful writing can cause you to accidentally omit precious memories or leave you feeling unsatisfied with your result. Even if you start by jotting down a few ideas or sentences, starting early is always best. You can also ask a trusted friend or family member for ideas, input, or even to listen while you practice reading your vows aloud.  

Vow format options

Not sure what format or tone you want to go with? Here are some popular formats:  

Humorous vows: these often include funny stories you love telling, jokes, anecdotes, or movie quotes. Humorous vows can feel very lighthearted yet equally romantic. People listening can get a better sense of your relationship and can laugh along with you. This format is especially good if you’re nervous and want to lighten the mood.  

Romantic vows: these are more traditional in nature and are a great way to really tell your love story. You can start from the beginning of your journey together, all the way to your wedding day. Romantic vows are great for couples who want to really be heartfelt and tell each other how they feel.  

Traditional vows: these are often the ones you see in movies and are usually said when a couple chooses not to customize their vows. Traditional vows can be just as meaningful and represent a couple’s religion or family. These vows often start with ‘I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward…’. You can add a little extra to personalize traditional vows while keeping that familiar feeling.  

Step-by-step vow writing 

Begin by stating who your partner is to you. If you often say they are your best friend, address them as such.  

No matter what format you choose, you can start by saying what you love about your partner, your favourite things about them, why you fell in love, and how you feel when they aren’t around. Tell a story about them that you adore; this can be a funny story or a very romantic story, or both! 

Make promises that you vow to keep; these can be traditional, like: ‘I promise to love and cherish you, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse, and to be faithful to you until death do us part.’ You can choose some more humorous vows like: ‘I vow to love you unconditionally, even if you’re a Habs fan,’ or romantic vows like: ‘I vow to love the person you will become, just as I love the person you are now’. 

Conclude your vows by either reiterating the most important parts of your speech or by making one final poignant vow to wrap it up.  

Remember, your vows should be as unique as you are and personalized however you want. Have fun with them!