Customizing your ceremony makes memorable moments

September 23, 2023

Some people think the ceremony is the boring part of a wedding day. They anticipate it will be long or dry or overly religious or full of legal-type details. They would rather fast-forward to the party.

Those people are missing out.

The legal requirements for a ceremony are short and simple – a question of intent for each partner, signing of the documents, pronouncing the couple as married (Quebec has some additional required text.) There is lots of room for creativity and meaningful connection. Your ceremony can be the highlight of your day, if you put in some effort. Personalizing the script, music, and vibe will result in a ceremony that has personality and will provide lasting memories for you and your guests.

Entrance

Guests may be expecting classical music and a serene bride or groom gliding down the aisle. But it can be so many other things. We’ve seen flower men, flower grandmas, a choreographed dance up the aisle, pets carrying rings, a ring bear (in a bear costume), ring security guards, and more. One officiant we work with once introduced a wedding party as they came down the aisle as if they were taking part in a WWE wrestling match. From sweet to silly, why not get things started in a way that will set the tone for the ceremony and the party to come? Don’t be afraid to showcase your personalities.

Music

Do not feel bound by tradition. Your wedding music does not have to be classical or instrumental. It can be anything you want, so make it meaningful to you. Make it memorable for your guests. Make it fun. It’s the best when the first few bars of a song hit and the guests look at each other and say, “this is so them!” Pick songs that mean something to you. The one that you sing to each other while dancing around in the kitchen, or one that represents a departed family member, or one that your kids love. Pick a song that bops, or one that croons. A love song or a party anthem, you get to decide. Finish your ceremony with a dance party and invite everyone to take part.

Script

Words matter. Your wedding script can tell your story. If you are having a lot of people at your ceremony, they may not all be familiar with the way you met and how your relationship progressed. Sharing some details will help catch them up and give them an appreciation for why you are standing in front of them. Your script and vows can highlight all the things you love about your partner and your relationship. Tone can vary from formal to downright goofy. Your vows are your promises to each other for your life ahead. They should sound like you, not some one-size-fits-all script.

Additions

Include the people who are important to you. While a friend or family member can do a reading during the ceremony, there are lots of other ways to incorporate folks. If you have someone with musical ability, they can sing or play during the ceremony. Recognize your mothers (or parents) by giving each a rose at the beginning of the ceremony. Include kids by giving them a gift, making vows to them, or having them sign a document (Record of Solemnization in Ontario or temporary certificate in other provinces). Bring together a blended family with a sand ceremony where each family member gets a different colour of sand and takes a turn pouring it into a clear jar, a symbol of unity that becomes a permanent fixture in your home. If you want to get everyone involved, pass your rings around from guest to guest in a ring warming. Or give everyone a smooth stone and ask them to hold it during the ceremony and infuse it with their best wishes, then collect them afterward in a jar or box and keep them on display.

Attitude

The attitude of the couple can have a big impact on the vibe of the ceremony as well. If you are just wishing it would be over, your guests will also probably feel that way. If you embrace the ceremony as a celebration and a key component of your day, then that positive energy will filter through to your guests. It’s a one-time event, so make it something you will enjoy!